Chocolate: Raw nuts/seeds.
Oily/Fatty Snacks: Kale, leafy greens.
Soda/Carbonated Drinks: Actual, literal bubbles.
Chips/Salty Food: Topsoil.
Cookies: Freudian psychology.
Sweet Tea: A strong Southern gentleman to take care of you.
Ice: The sweet release of death.
i wish aziz ansari as Tom Haverford would have been the one to announce the new apple watch because that’s such a him idea. (tom haverford voice) It’s a watch…. *finger guns* that makes phonecalls. It’s a watch… *finger guns* that lets you control the temperature of any room. I call it (long pause, looks straight into the camera) Watch the Throne.